Stop Pretending
by rainysfeverdreams
Summary: Cordelia and Doyle are forced to spend the day with Xander and Anya. Takes place Post-The Bachelor Party.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I think everyone knows the drill.

**Title:** Stop Pretending

**Pairing:** Cordy/Doyle; Xander/Anya; references to past-Cordy/Xander

**Summary:** Xander and Anya join Buffy on her trip to LA. Takes place right after _The Bachelor Party_ & _Pangs_. There is a bit of dialogue pulled straight from the beginning of _IWRY_ and then it morphs into my imagination. There will be no rewinding of the day or anything of that nature. Herein lies mostly banter.

**A/N:** This is the first fic I have ever written, so it's kind of terrifying to put it out there for others to read. More than anything I wanted the characters to sound (and act) like themselves, so I really hope that I succeeded in that much at least.

* * *

><p>"When did he get back?"<p>

"Late last night."

"And?"

"Ah, he seemed fine."

Cordelia and Doyle stood shoulder to shoulder, peering through the blinds into Angel's office. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary as far as they could tell.

"He saw Buffy. He was in Sunnydale for three whole days, tracking her and that thingymagiggy you saw in your vision. Where is the crabby scowl, the morbid gloom? This just means that it cut deeper than usual. Batten down the hatches, here comes Hurricane Buffy."

"You think? Maybe he's over her." Doyle tossed the reply over his shoulder as he moved away from the window and grabbed the newspaper off her desk. He continued toward the small green couch in the corner to settle into his typical morning routine.

Cordelia shook her head, still peeking through the blinds, "You have so much to learn, little Irish man."

She sighed audibly as she too turned away from Angel and settled into her desk chair for her own personal morning ritual. Pulling her nail file from her top drawer, she went to work. Keeping her nails in pristine condition was a full-time job.

She watched Doyle out of the corner of her eye and wondered if his blasé attitude toward the Buffy and Angel saga had anything to do with his own feelings where Harriet was concerned. Doyle hadn't talked much about the events surrounding his ex-wife's abrupt reappearance in his life. Under normal conditions, Cordelia had absolutely no problem broaching touchy subjects with her friends—it was kind of her specialty. But, these weren't normal conditions. She was hesitant to talk to Doyle about his love life. Mostly because she was still adjusting to the fact that she wanted to be a part of said love life. So, she really wasn't about to inquire as to whether or not he was still pining away for his ex-wife. She had already given him the one and only pep talk she could stomach.

She really hoped he would take her advice about moving on.

As she sat there observing him, she started wondering exactly when and how she had let this happen. She had developed feelings for her vertically challenged, badly dressed coworker who didn't have a penny to his name. She had never thought it would be possible to go down this road again. In fact, she had vowed that she would never even consider it. Then, along came Doyle and here she was, considering away. He had already gotten around her carefully constructed walls. And he didn't even realize that he was inside…

"What's on your mind, darlin'?" He had asked the question without looking up from his paper and she realized that he must have sensed her rather intense gaze. She felt her face grow warm. She couldn't possibly answer his question honestly.

He folded up his paper and tossed it on the small coffee table in front of him, finally looking up and meeting her eyes questioningly. "Or, you just taking in the impeccable view?"

His comment had mercifully taken her off the hook. Shameless flirting on his part was her cue to turn on the snark. "And if by 'impeccable view' you mean 'the most hideous shirt ever created by human hands,' then yes, that's exactly what I'm doing. You're just lucky I don't make you put caution tape around the train-wreck you call a wardrobe."

The shirt was black with all sorts of swirly designs, and sadly, wasn't even close to being the worst shirt he owned. As per usual, he took her insult in stride, "Maybe I just need a nice girl, such as yourself, to dress me every morning. You have an open invitation, y'know." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

She rolled her eyes in feigned disgust. "Ugh, please. As if I would go anywhere near your apartment if I wasn't in mortal danger."

"Ah, well, then good thing for me mortal danger is in no short supply around these parts."

Their typical verbal sparring was a comforting. When everything else was complicated, this was so simple. She could do this all day.

The universe, however, had other plans.

The front door swung open and in walked three familiar faces.

"Buffy?" Cordelia rose from her chair and started to move around the desk. "You're here… And you brought Xander and… _Anya_?"

Cordelia wrinkled her nose in half confusion, half distaste. Was Anya a permanent member of the Scooby Gang nowadays? She must have missed the memo. Cordelia remembered seeing her at the prom with Xander, but she didn't think these two would ever become an actual couple. After all, Anya was a demon.

"Hey, Cordy," Xander greeted her, while Buffy stuck with a slight nod and a simple, "Cordelia."

Buffy didn't look altogether pleased to be there. Nor did Anya, for that matter, who hadn't even bothered with a greeting. Xander seemed fairly at ease as he took in the place, "Nice office. You guys find the Maltese Falcon yet?"

Cordelia ignored Xander's stupid comment and didn't bother wasting time with pleasantries. "What are you guys doing here? Did the evil thing that Angel helped kill not stay dead or something? Or, is there a brand new pending apocalypse you need help with? Or, did Angel just forget something in Sunnydale?"

The last question was said in a hopeful voice.

"You could say that." Buffy's expression remained unreadable, but pain was a good guess. She glanced over at Doyle who had stood up from the couch.

"Oh. Buffy, that's Doyle. Y'know, the guy who had the vision that sent Angel running to Sunnydale in the first place. Doyle, you remember Buffy from your migraine-inducing vision, don't you?"

"Nice to meet you," Buffy gave him a small, apologetic smile.

"Likewise." He moved forward to shake her hand and nodded to Xander and Anya. He then moved back to stand beside Cordelia, crossing his arms as he often did when he was in observation mode.

Buffy cleared her throat and finally cut to the chase. "Cordelia, is he here?"

"I'm here." Angel had silently come to stand in the doorway of his office. His vampire senses had probably tipped him off to Buffy's arrival the moment she had opened the front door. A moment of tense silence filled the air as the two of them locked eyes. "Why don't you…?" Angel gestured for Buffy to enter his office, nodded to the others and closed the door behind him.

* * *

><p>"Well, that was awkward," Cordelia blurted out once Buffy and Angel were out of earshot. She turned toward Xander and Anya. "And kinda still is. So, no impending doom then?"<p>

"That's a negative. Unless you count the wrath of Buffy," Xander replied.

"So, why did she feel the need to bring along two of her minions?"

"What? We can't just stop by to visit some old friends?"

"You've never liked Angel," Cordelia pointed out. "And I don't like you."

"Ouch, that hurts." He replied with mock pain. "Well, Buffy was coming down here to see her Dad, and we decided to turn it into a little road trip type thing. She just needed to stop in and see the big guy before we take in some sights."

"It was Xander's idea to accompany Buffy inside. I wanted us to wait in the car," Anya finally spoke up, inching closer to Xander.

Cordelia arched a brow in her direction, "And demon-girl would be part of the 'we' these days?"

"I go where Xander goes because we enjoy having sex in different places. Although, most of the time we do it in his parents' basement. I've been his girlfriend since before he had Syphilis." Anya's reply caused Cordelia's jaw to drop. _Did she just say Syphilis?_

"It was a supernatural thing." Xander explained as he flushed with embarrassment. "Totally Syphilis-free now."

Doyle had remained quiet as he stood beside Cordelia, but his eyes had widened significantly at Anya's unusual comment. "Who knew there was anyone more brutally honest than you, Princess?"

Cordelia noticed that upon hearing Doyle's pet name of choice, Xander blatantly sized up the other man. She could tell that he was assuming certain things about the exact nature of Cordelia and Doyle's relationship. Not that it was any of his business.

"_Princess?_ What happened, Cor, you get demoted?" Xander asked with mock sympathy. Turning his attention back on Doyle, he added, "I wouldn't sell her short, pal. I'm pretty sure she's still the Queen when it comes to being utterly tactless."

Cordelia put on her most saccharine-sounding voice and jumped in before Doyle could get a word in edgewise, "Sorry, Doyle. I don't think I properly introduced you to the rest of our unwanted visitors. Xander is _nobody_, and Anya is the vengeance demon who tried to make me wish our entire universe into a bizarro alternate reality in order to punish Xander for being an unfaithful male jerk. They're clearly a match made in Sunnyhell. _And did I mention that Anya is a_ _demon_?"

Doyle's eyebrows were raised in surprise at first, followed by a slight furrow. She wondered what surprised him most - that Xander was dating a demon or that Cordelia had ever dated a guy like Xander.

"Ex-demon," Anya corrected with a smile, completely missing the fact that Cordelia's words had been intended to insult. "Unfortunately, I've been rendered completely mortal since that little incident. Now I'm forced to stand here and hope that Xander isn't imagining his ex-girlfriend naked."

"Hey, Anya? Remember that conversation we had about the over-sharing?" Xander looked mortified—not to mention a little bit guilty.

Doyle was now scowling at the younger man while Cordelia was just grossed out. "Right… So, are you planning on waiting here for Buffy? Because those two will probably be a while and you wouldn't want to miss out on all that quality sightseeing time. May I recommend Venice Beach—it's full of freaks, so you two will fit right in."

"Yeah, we all came in one car, so as much as I'd love to go find an available cave and _live in it_ for the rest of my adult life, we kind of have to wait." Xander was being careful to look everywhere other than at Cordelia.

Cordelia sighed. Goodbye to her nice relaxing day of verbally sparring with Doyle.

"Guess you should make yourselves comfortable. Coffee, anyone?"

* * *

><p>Cordelia busied herself with adding more coffee grounds to the previously used filter.<p>

Anya was now seated on the couch, looking bored and slightly put out. She absently flipped through one of the magazines that sat on the coffee table. Doyle was perched on the edge of Cordelia's desk with his arms folded across his chest. He alternated between giving curious glances at Anya and disapproving ones at Xander. The latter of whom was now hovering near Cordelia trying to "help" with the coffee making process.

"Y'know, Anya doesn't really grasp the whole being human thing quite yet. You don't actually think that I would be picturing you in any less clothing than you're wearing right now." He didn't really have much of an excuse for himself. Cordelia dismissed most of his babbling. "But, can I just say, from one ex to another—and in a totally non-picturing you naked kinda way-that you look really good."

She did, however, focus on the important part, "Well, duh. When have I not looked good?"

"Traditionally, this is the point in a conversation where you return the compliment. But, hey, it's comforting to know that Hollywood hasn't changed you."

"The only thing that's changed is my proximity to the Hellmouth. Not that it matters. Still demons-a-plenty around here. Guess that's what I get for working for a vampire," she said with a small shrug.

Xander caught one of Doyle's intimidating looks in his direction. He shifted his weight uncomfortably. "And… that Doyle guy. What's his deal anyway?"

"He works here. Gets visions of people in trouble. Angel saves those people. I send those people invoices. Blah, blah, blah."

"And you and he are…?" Xander raised his eyebrows, implying the rest of his question.

"What?" She knew what Xander was asking; she just didn't feel like giving him a straight answer.

"Well, that's my question. You and he are… What? An office fling?"

"_We_ are none of your business, that's what."

"Touchy, much? I'm not allowed to show interest in your life?"

"You're not showing interest. You're being nosey."

"Fine, whatever you want to call it… I don't think you should be with a guy like that."

"Remember the part about it being none of your business?" She snapped. She was starting to lose her patience. Even if Doyle wasn't actually her boyfriend, Xander had no right to imply that he wasn't right for her. She felt compelled to defend him. "You don't know anything about him."

"He just looks sorta…"

"Looks?" She snorted. "Yeah, you should really not be judging someone on their looks. Have you ever even looked in a mirror, Xander?"

"Oh. Wow." Xander was able to read something in her reaction. "It's serious, huh? Look at that, someone actually got through that impenetrable hide. Does he actually know how much you care or are you still in the treat-him-like-dirt-so-he'll-think-he-means-nothing phase?"

"Are you done?" She was fuming now. He had no right to know her as well as he did.

"You know what? I'll just say what I'm really thinking." He paused briefly before diving into the deep end. "He's too old for you, Cordy! He's gotta be, what? Like 30 or something? Wesley was bad enough, but at least he was all uptight and y'know… _English_. This guy looks like he spends time lurking in dark alleys. Or, possibly sleeping in them. Are you sure he isn't just using you—"

She cut him off abruptly. Now she was seeing red. "First of all, it's _really_ none of your business what I do or who I do it with! Second of all, Doyle's not even close to 30. Besides, _hello_, your girlfriend is, like, a thousand years old!" Xander looked slightly chagrined about that point, but Cordelia wasn't done, "Third of all, he doesn't lurk or sleep in alleys- well, except when he is lurking with Angel in order to catch vampires and demons and stuff, or, sometimes when he gets really drunk and passes out before making it back to his apartment-but normally, _not! _And, finally, whatever else you were going to say about him—_you're just plain wrong, buster!"_

The civil portion of their conversation had been quiet enough not to attract much attention from the other two, but Cordelia's outburst had gotten progressively louder. Doyle didn't stand up, but he looked like he was ready to jump to Cordelia's defense if need be.

Xander raised his hands in surrender and backed away slightly from the tiger he had just unleashed. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Maybe the better question would have been why _he _would date _you_."

Cordelia silenced him with a deadly stare.

A half-second later, Doyle grimaced and very nearly tumbled off the edge of the desk. He brought both hands up to his forehead and appeared to be trying to keep his brain from forcing its way out through the front of his skull. Cordelia was at his side in a heartbeat, bracing him so he wouldn't fall over. Xander rushed forward as well, not entirely sure what was happening, but sincerely hoping that Cordelia's new boyfriend wasn't about to transform into The Incredible Hulk.

"He's having a vision." Cordelia explained simply, keeping all her attention on Doyle. After a moment, he regained control over his motor functions and took a shaky breath. Once his muscles relaxed, Cordelia let go of his shoulders and went to fetch the two bottles she kept behind her desk specifically for these occasions. One bottle of Aspirin, the other of Scotch. She poured a couple pills into Doyle's outstretched hand, which he tossed in his mouth and chased with the Scotch. They had this routine down pat.

"Wow...and a whole _lot _of wow. That happen a lot?" Xander asked in an incredulous voice.

"More than I'd like," was Doyle's pained reply. Taking another swig of Scotch then clearing his throat. "Much as I hate to break up the party… this is a message for the boss that can't wait."

Cordelia nodded and turned to knock on Angel's office door.

* * *

><p>Buffy and Angel hadn't seemed to mind having their angst-filled conversation interrupted for some good old fashioned evil-fighting. Doyle had relayed the sketchy details from his vision and the two heroes had wasted little time heading off to save the day. Before leaving, Buffy had asked that Cordelia play tour guide to Xander and Anya for the remainder of the day.<p>

Cordelia was less than thrilled with this development, but figured that it was probably better to take them somewhere rather than stay cooped up in the office all day. Santa Monica Pier it was! Doyle seemed pretty wiped out from his vision-which he had indicated was a rather ferocious one—but he agreed to join their little excursion anyway. She suspected that he wanted to keep an eye on Xander.

She made Xander and Anya wait in front of the building while she retrieved her car from the underground garage. Doyle went with her, of course. It was the perfect time to inform him that he was her obligatory fake-boyfriend for the day. Sure, she hadn't intended for Xander to think they were a couple, but now that he did—it was just easier to let him keep thinking it.

As a bonus, she'd have an excuse to stay close to Doyle all day. Not to mention that she'd get a little preview of what it might feel like to date him. It was actually a happy accident as far as she was concerned.

As they walked down to her car, she kept her voice light and casual, "Doyle, I need to ask you for a favor and it would be really great if you could just do it without giving me a hard time."

He cocked his head sideways, "I believe you're the one usually giving me a hard time, yeah?" He did have a point. The look in his eyes changed from humor to sincerity, as he said, "Whatever you need, darlin'. Just ask."

She melted a little at that reply. He could be really sweet sometimes.

"Xander jumped to the mistaken conclusion that you and I are…" she used her arms to gesture between them, "involved."

"Oh, yeah?" Doyle looked a little relieved by that idea. "What made him think that?"

She shrugged. "He's an idiot."

"And you cleared that up for him, then?"

"I was going to… and then he got me really mad."

"Yeah, I noticed."

She added brightly. "I didn't lie. I just never got around to correcting him."

"So he thinks we are…" Doyle was a bit amused now. He raised his brows questioningly, "What, exactly?"

"What do you mean? I just told you."

"I hate to break it to you, but he can be assuming a great many things if your conversation with him was as vague as this one is."

She gave him a withering look. "He assumes we are _together_. As in, we're a _couple_. Is that clear enough for you?"

Doyle nodded, still looking a bit skeptical. "You just trying to mess with the guy's head or what?"

She decided that a small dose of backstory was deserved. She didn't want him to think she was a total bitch—although, he might actually think that anyway.

"Listen, Doyle, I know you won't get it, but once upon a time I put myself out there and dated Xander Harris, registered geek, despite my better judgment. And you know what happened? You know what I got for putting my h- social status on the line? My geek boyfriend cheated on me—the most popular girl at school-with a fellow geek. And, as an extra special parting gift, I got sent to the hospital! So, I don't really care what he does or who he dates. But, it does make me feel good to have him think that there is someone currently in my life who is crazy about me. Think you can do that?"

"I can do that." Doyle replied, the sympathy evident in his eyes.

She was relieved that he didn't question it further. "Great. Some ground-rules. No kissing or groping of any kind. If we put on too big a show, Xander will know what's up—he may be stupid, but he also knows how I operate." She had Doyle's rapt attention as she barely stopped for a breath. "All you have to do is act the way you usually do, Mr. Inappropriately-Overprotective. And, you should probably put your arm around me a few times as long as you think you can make it look authentic and not awkward."

He looked flustered as she made her "inappropriately-overprotective" comment, "Geez, Cordelia, what do you take me for? Some kind of animal?"

She gave him a look that told him that that is exactly what she took him for. He nodded guiltily before switching gears. "You serious about the no kissing bit, though? I think it would be a lot more convincing if-"

"Doyle!" Her eyes were wide as she gave him a warning look. Being her pretend boyfriend was one thing, but getting to cop a feel was another. That should be reserved for a real date—if she decided to actually go on a real date with him.

"Can't blame a guy for trying, yeah?"

_To be continued_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**- Okay, here comes the fun stuff. Thanks for reading!

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><p>Cordelia had made sure to turn the music up extra-loud during the drive across town—anything to keep the conversation to a bare minimum. She eventually turned it down slightly, realizing that poor Doyle had been sitting in her passenger seat suffering in silence from his vision-induced headache. She reached over and squeezed his leg, giving him an apologetic smile. He nodded in thanks, closing his eyes and resting his head against the back of the seat.<p>

She was fortunate enough to find primo parking right across from the pier—a very unlikely occurrence anywhere in Los Angeles. They quickly piled out of her car and hit the boardwalk, agreeing that food should be their first objective. Grabbing an array of greasy delights from the surrounding stands; they settled themselves at a picnic table and dug in. Cordelia made certain to steer the conversation to safe topics, such as her burgeoning acting career.

After lunch they decided to walk the length of the pier. They figured digestion was advisable before hitting any of the rides.

They played a few games along the way. Anya had insisted that Xander win her a prize only to completely flip out when he finally managed to score a fluffy, white stuffed rabbit. Meanwhile, Doyle dutifully won a stuffed tiger for Cordelia—much larger than the rejected rabbit, which had been left behind.

When they reached the far end of the pier, they paused and took in the ocean view. Xander and Anya were doing the couple thing. Enjoying a romantic moment in a picture perfect location. Anya was all about letting the entire universe know that Xander was her boyfriend. Xander didn't exactly looked like he was objecting. _PDA is so gross._

Cordelia leaned forward against the railing trying to look at anything other than the couple smooching beside her. Her heart nearly stopped as Doyle slid his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him. "This OK?" He whispered close to her ear, sending a small tingle down her spine. She looked up at him to answer, but was surprised to find that she couldn't actually make herself speak.

It was his eyes that made her breath catch in her throat.

Doyle's eyes were always nice to look at. Always expressive. Even when she didn't have feelings for him, she had never been able to deny the fact that the man's eyes were… well, beautiful. And right at that moment they were reflecting the sky and ocean right back at her, making their naturally pale-green hue appear vibrantly blue. She couldn't help but get a little lost in them for a moment.

Any doubts she still harbored about her feelings for him were rapidly disappearing. She was definitely feeling something. Something she hadn't known she could possibly feel with him. Something she hadn't known she could feel, period. Her heart was beating a little too fast; her stomach felt like the inside of a butterfly pavilion and she could swear she had even broken a sweat. She was feeling a bit lightheaded. And all the man had done was put his arm around her!

She had to remind herself that he was just doing what she had asked of him—making it appear like they were a couple. Making it appear authentic. They were only a pretend-couple. Yet, nothing about the moment felt like pretend.

"Hey, lovebirds. Let me get a picture." The voice had startled them, breaking the spell. It belonged to one of those street vendors who took your picture and then tried to sell it back to you on a keychain or T-shirt. "Sorry to interrupt. You just look so happy. Why not capture the moment?"

They turned toward the camera with Doyle's arm still wrapped around her. She naturally leaned her head against his shoulder as she beamed toward the camera. The stuffed tiger was clutched in her arms. She caught Xander's slight frown out of the corner of her eye and took that as a good sign. They were a very convincing couple.

"Ah, that's just lovely," the photographer commented as he snapped their photo. He handed them a small card, telling them to stop by and pick up a copy of the photo before they left the pier. He then turned toward Xander and Anya, encouraging them to take a picture as well.

Cordelia's voice was unusually husky when she was finally able to use it. "That was perfect."

Too perfect. Maybe this was a bad idea_. _Doyle was extremely good at pretending. His pretending was way better than any of her recent dates' sincere intentions. She was afraid that she wouldn't want to stop… pretending.

"Hey, you guys wanna hit the rides now? I think the probability of any of us vomiting on the Tilt-a-Whirl has been greatly reduced, wouldn't you say?" Xander's voice had interrupted her internal revelry.

"Speak for yourself, bud." Doyle replied as they headed back toward the opposite end of the pier.

* * *

><p>Hours had passed and Cordelia had to admit, she was having a blast. They had gone on almost every ride the pier had to offer and things had long since stopped being awkward. She was actually at a point where she thought Anya wasn't really all that bad. After all, they did seem to have a lot in common. They both liked money, for one thing. Xander and Doyle weren't really get along per say, but at least they appeared to be tolerating each other.<p>

Then there was the matter of her pretend date with Doyle. Naturally, he was good company, constantly cracking jokes and throwing charming grins in her direction. He had dutifully accompanied her on every ride she wanted to go on- even the ones that had him looking a little green afterwards. Cordelia couldn't deny that she was enjoying every moment by his side. More importantly, she realized that was always the case. Time spent with Doyle was always better than time spent without him.

She also couldn't stop analyzing his "boyfriend" body language. Just as she had advised, he didn't go too overboard. He only held her hand once—it was in the House of Mirrors. They had gotten hopelessly lost with him leading the way. Finally, she had taken over and led them to the exit. She thought it was worth noting that they had lost Anya and Xander somewhere deep inside, but Doyle had never loosened his grip on her hand.

He also had a tendency to place his hand on the small of her back every so often. Sometimes he was guiding her forward, other times he was merely reminding her he was there. His touches were subtle. But every time he touched her, she felt it.

"I think its time to sit in those little buckets attached to that giant wheel that spins. I see a lot of couples making out on that ride. Perhaps, it helps them ignore the possibility that they may plummet to their untimely deaths should there be any mechanical failure."

"I think what Anya's so eloquently trying to say is: it's Ferris wheel time!" Xander said cheerfully leading them to the end of the line for the most famous ride on the pier. Eventually, they reached the front. Cordelia and Doyle climbed into the first gondola to arrive, with Anya and Xander taking the following one. And away they went.

"This is nice. We should do this more often, yeah?" Doyle commented. He was sitting with his arms resting on the back of the seat, his legs stretched out in front of him. He looked relaxed as he took in their surroundings. He was definitely enjoying himself.

"This has been a surprisingly painless day," she agreed, trying to push away the nervous feeling that had suddenly crept inside her. She got a small chill, probably from the breeze. He had obviously noticed because he slid closer, moving his arm from the back of the seat and placing it around her shoulders. He rubbed her arm a bit to warm her.

Cordelia felt her stomach drop and it wasn't from the movement of the ride. However, her surge of excitement was marred by the thought that he had only put his arm around her because Xander and Anya were directly behind them. The plan that she had originally thought was a stroke of genius—to force Doyle into being her pretend boyfriend-was now causing her torment. Because she hated thinking that his sweet gestures were only for show.

They rode in silence for a while, enjoying the view and the pleasant ocean breeze. "It's a real shame that you put that no kissing policy in effect, love." His eyes were twinkling with humor as he winked at her. "I mean, if it wasn't for that, I would definitely have to kiss you right now. Just doesn't get much more romantic than this."

He was teasing. There was no doubt that he was joking, but the seed had been planted.

"You're right. You should do it." The reply had left her mouth before she had fully processed it. She definitely wanted him to kiss her, even if this wasn't a "real date." But she was a little bit in shock that she had actually admitted it out loud.

He was studying her closely, trying to gauge whether she was being serious. He had completely lost his relaxed, jovial demeanor that had been present all day and was suddenly very tense. "I…what?" He swallowed nervously. "You want me to?"

She had made herself vulnerable. So naturally, her defenses kicked back in.

"Yeah, why not? I mean, you do have some good ideas every now and then. You're probably right about the kiss thing—not that you should let it go to your head or anything." She tried to keep her voice light, so it wouldn't betray how badly she actually _wanted_ him to kiss her. Super light, super casual. She probably did too good a job at that.

"Oh." He looked disappointed and slightly put off by her flippant response. "I don't know, Cordy. Don't you think it would be taking this little game of yours a bit too far?"

"We're just talking about a kiss, Doyle. Completely harmless."

"Harmless. Right." He repeated her word, but didn't look convinced that it was true. She was confused by his hesitation. She had assumed he would jump at a chance to kiss her, no questions asked. She was apparently wrong. And suddenly she was feeling awfully silly about the whole thing.

The wheel stopped moving, trapping them at the very top.

She couldn't very well back down at this point. And, kissing her really shouldn't be a big problem for Doyle. Not to mention that if he didn't, she might actually die of embarrassment. "Oh, come on, Doyle! What happened to you being all bummed that you wouldn't be getting to first base today? Don't tell me you're all talk and no action." She arched her brow in challenge. "You flirt with me every chance you get. I can't even count the number of times I've caught you staring at parts of my anatomy that are nowhere near my face. Are you really trying to tell me that you don't want to kiss me? This might be the only chance I ever give you, so _carpe diem_ or forever hold your peace, buddy."

He didn't reply right away. He looked a little injured by her last comment. "That so? Maybe I should just do it then."

"Well, what are you waiting for?" She shot back.

He was going to say something else, but he let whatever it was die on his lips. She was still leveling him with her challenging gaze when she saw the flicker of a decision in his eyes.

He leaned forward, raised his left hand to her cheek and brought his lips down to meet hers in a scorching kiss. His right hand slowly slid up her back, pulling her against him. In that instant, she knew why he had been so reluctant to kiss her here and now—_because kisses really don't lie_.

His lips were surprisingly soft, but his kiss was not. If his intent had been to take her breath away, then mission accomplished. She could feel him start to pull back after only a few seconds had passed, but she wasn't ready to let the kiss end so quickly. She slid her hands upwards until they rested on the back of his head, encouraging him to continue.

Her eager response was all the encouragement he needed and he deepened the kiss even further. She returned his kiss hungrily. Completely breathless, she would have gladly passed out rather than break their connection. This couldn't even be classified as a mere kiss anymore. They were in the throes of a full-blown make-out session. A fairly public one, at that.

He was the one to finally drag them back to reality. He pulled back slightly, gently holding her face in his hands and keeping his mouth close to hers. She felt like her entire body had been struck by lightning-every nerve ending was sitting upright. They were both trying to catch their breath. He planted one final soft kiss on her lips before pulling back entirely and letting his hands fall away from her hair. His green eyes were ablaze with desire and emotion.

She couldn't imagine what he was seeing in her own dark eyes. Surely there was a healthy dose of fire, but maybe he'd see that other thing-the thing she never showed anyone.

It occurred to her that the Ferris wheel was moving again. It must have started up while they were kissing, but she had no recollection of when that had happened. She had been completely wrapped up in their moment. Completely wrapped up in him.

He was clearly affected by what had just transpired between them. And more than a little surprised. He had obviously never expected that she would kiss him back so eagerly.

He didn't say anything. He really didn't have to. Everything was so clear to her now. He was crazy about her. His kiss had made it crystal clear. The look in his eyes made it even clearer. And now he was wondering if she felt the same way.

He was waiting for an answer.

_I'm in love with you._ She couldn't possibly utter those words. Way too scary. Way too soon. How could she say that, without actually saying _that_? She could always just grab him and kiss him some more. He was pretty smart. He'd probably get the message.

She took a deep breath and nervously looked toward the gondola behind them. She was merely prepping herself for her big confession, but Doyle obviously misunderstood the action. He thought she was checking to see if the other two were watching. Which, of course, they were.

Anya looked somewhat impressed; Xander looked nauseous.

"Yeah, they definitely saw that one, eh? I'm sure your ex-boy, back there, is really wanting to lay me out right about now." There was bitterness in his voice that was completely foreign to her ears. He had turned away and wouldn't meet her eyes now. "Your plan worked like a charm."

She felt her spirits plummet at the change in his demeanor. He thought she was only putting on a show. Evidently, he couldn't read her mind as easily as she could read his. She didn't know why it surprised her, since she had worked long and hard to be unreadable.

Swallowing hard, she finally found her voice. "Doyle, I don't care what he thinks."

"Course you do. If you didn't care, you would have never asked me to do this."

She could hear the hurt in his voice. She had been so focused on herself that she hadn't really considered his feelings. She had really screwed up.

Panic set in as she realized how close they were to the end of the ride. She couldn't let him walk away thinking that nothing had changed between them.

"I'm sorry. You're right. I shouldn't have." Her voice trembled a little.

"One Oscar-worthy performance is quite enough for the evening, thanks."

"I'm trying to apologize."

"You don't need to apologize."

"Obviously, I do."

"You got nothing to apologize for."

"Then why are you so angry at me?"

"I'm not angry." His icy tone didn't match his words and he cut her off before she could respond. "I'd really rather we just forget it, yeah?"

The ride came to an abrupt stop and they were forced to disembark without another word. The ride attendant called her back, handing her the stuffed tiger she had almost left behind. Doyle didn't wait for her. His body language told her that they were far from okay.

She had so much that she needed to say to him. She needed to get him alone again as soon as possible.

* * *

><p>Anya and Xander had rejoined them and were already making suggestions on where to go next. Doyle was silent, Cordelia distracted. Anya wanted to find the carousel, so she got her way by default. As they headed toward their new destination, Cordelia wracked her brain. She needed to figure out a way to pull Doyle aside and clear the air. She figured that once they got on the ride, they could talk in semi-private. The carousel, however, was a circus. Every man, woman and child in the place was clamoring for a ride and it wasn't really the place for a real conversation.<p>

"Why don't you two go ahead? I don't feel like waiting on that line." Cordelia announced.

"You're right," Xander agreed. "I think we should skip this one, An. Too long a line for a glorified merry-go-round."

"No, don't skip it! Anya should get a chance to ride the carousel. Fun, fun, fun. Don't wanna miss it!" Cordelia urged them forward toward the ever-growing line.

Xander narrowed his eyes, "How completely not subtle of you, Cor. What's the matter? You two didn't get enough action on the Ferris wheel? Do I need to remind you that this is a public place? There are impressionable children around." He threw an accusing glare in Doyle's direction.

"I'll go with Anya if you two want to sit this one out." Doyle added curtly.

He would choose spending time with Anya over her at this point. This was really bad.

Xander was finally catching on to the arctic vibe between the other couple. Anya , however, remained blissfully ignorant. "All of these people waiting in line are making this ride seem much more appealing than it logically should. Come on, Doyle."

Xander gave Cordelia a little nod, letting her know he would help diffuse the situation. "Actually, now that I think about it… I'm totally down for some carousel action. Hope you don't mind if I take your place, man." With that, Xander grabbed Anya's hand and the two of them headed toward the end of the line.

Cordelia was relieved to be rid of the other couple for a little while. But she knew she had to use the alone-time wisely.

Doyle had his hands in his pockets and his head lowered. Cordelia realized that, previous sentence aside, he hadn't spoken since the Ferris wheel.

"Can we go sit over there?" Cordelia asked, indicating an empty bench overlooking the beach below. He didn't look at her or bother with an answer. He silently walked over to the bench she had pointed out and sat down. She took the seat beside him.

"So, you're giving me the silent treatment now? That's real mature, Doyle." She knew she should keep her temper in check, considering she only had herself to blame for all this. But, the silent treatment was a low blow.

He finally looked over at her. He didn't necessarily look angry, but he didn't look all that friendly either. "You asked me to sit here, I'm sitting here. Not sure what else you want from me at the moment."

If anything, he sounded defeated.

"You've barely said a word since we got off the Ferris wheel."

"What did you want me to say, exactly? Was it absolutely imperative that I chime in while the three of you pondered which nauseating ride we go on next?"

"I guess not."

She had to start steering this conversation in the necessary direction. Thinking that he'd respond to a peacemaking gesture, she reached for his hand as she started to speak. "Doyle, I really-"

He pulled his hand away sharply.

"We're alone now, yeah? What d'ya say we just keep our hands to ourselves?"

Cordelia felt as if she'd been slapped, "I'm sorry."

"I know."

He sighed heavily, leaning his elbows on his knees and placing his head in his hands. He looked exhausted. Cordelia had to acknowledge that it had been a long day—and she wasn't the one who had been forced to start it with a figurative sledgehammer to the brain.

She swallowed her pride. "We need to talk about what happened before."

"Don't think we do, darlin'. I told you to forget it. I already have." Somehow the word darlin' didn't sound quite as endearing as it normally did in the context of that sentence.

That's it. Time to pull out the big guns.

"I don't accept that. You kissed me, Doyle. And, in case you failed to notice, I kissed you back. I don't want to forget that. _I'm trying to tell you that I want it to happen again_!"

Her words had finally gotten through. He sat up straight and finally looked at her. She now had his undivided attention. Taking a deep breath, she plunged in even deeper. She could do this. She could open up to him.

"I screwed everything up by making you think this day was about Xander, when it was never about him-it was about you. Specifically about… feelings. That I've been having. For you."

The hint of a smile had appeared at the edges of his mouth. He obviously liked what he was hearing. And he probably even thought her inability to get it out in complete sentences was endearing.

"I was really confused about these feelings for you, okay. I needed to know if they were real or not and I thought the whole pretending thing would clear things up for me. And, for what's it worth, it did." She finally stopped to take a breath. She felt the heat in her face and already wished she could take everything she said back, but she forced herself to finish. "I wish I had never asked you to pretend…"

She had run out of steam. She had just put herself out there like never before and he could easily crush her right now.

"Who said I was pretending?" There was emotion in his voice. It was warm and comforting and was exactly what she needed to hear in that moment.

Her heart leapt to her throat. "What?"

"You know what I'm saying, love." His eyes echoed his words. "You asked me to pretend to be crazy about you and I'm saying I wasn't pretending. Never. But, I think you already know that."

Suddenly she felt very dizzy. Was the pier moving?

"How would I know that?" She heard herself ask.

He stared at her intensely, lowering his voice. "Did you ever really doubt it?"

She shook her head. On some level, she hadn't.

"My feelings for you have been real since the day I met you, Princess." He had moved closer to her now. "And what about those feelings of yours? You were able to figure them out, yeah?"

"Yeah, I have." She said, leaning closer to him and flashing her 1000-watt smile. "Which means… you need to quit stalling and finally ask me out." She playfully poked him in the chest with her index finger.

"Yeah?" He said with a crooked smile.

He leaned forward and gave her a quick, gentle kiss on the lips. It only lasted a few seconds this time, but nearly had the same effect on her senses as the first one did. She couldn't wipe the grin off her face. He started to say something, but then stopped himself and began a different sentence altogether.

"Actually, Cordy, there's one more thing I really need to-"

Cordelia's cell phone rang, cutting him off.

"It's Angel. Hold that thought." She said, before promptly answering the phone.

* * *

><p>Angel had called to let them know that the bad guy was dead. He and Buffy were back at the office waiting for them to return and it sounded like the sooner they got there the better. Cordelia asked Doyle to find the photo vendor and buy a copy of the picture they had taken earlier that afternoon. She figured it would take her a little while to collect Xander and Anya and she suspected that the picture was something she was going to want. Their first date. Definitely a framer.<p>

Once they were all together again, they piled back into Cordelia's car and headed back to the office. It had been a long day and everyone was tired.

Cordelia didn't bother blasting the music this time, figuring that any stupid comment Xander or Anya made couldn't possibly put a damper on her good mood. Xander had started off by telling old Sunnydale war stories, which were only mildly painful. Anya had added some of her own personal demon-tales, which were much more unpleasant.

They had almost made it all the way back to the office before Xander turned his attention on Doyle. "So, Doyle. Tell us more about yourself. I mean, all we know so far is that you're crazy about Cordy, which really just means that you're _actually_ crazy."

Doyle chuckled as Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Not gonna argue with that."

"And, what's up with those excruciating visions of yours? Helluva way to go about sending a message to Angel."

"Tell me about it, man. Seems like someone up there is trying awful hard to kill the messenger, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, the visions won't kill you," Anya stated matter-of-factly. "Not unless you're completely human that is. In which case, you wouldn't last very long and the end would be extremely messy. Trust me, it's just about impossible to clean up all that splattered brain matter. Which is why the Powers That Be are usually pretty careful about choosing demons to receive the visions." Anya paused, then as an afterthought, "You are at least part-demon, right?"

The silence inside the car was deafening.

Doyle had visibly tensed. He didn't offer a reply. It didn't look like he was even breathing.

Cordelia was gripping the steering wheel so hard that her knuckles were white as she tried not to drive her car off the road. Was she hearing correctly? _Was there a possibility that Doyle's head would explode?_

She couldn't lose him already! She had just found him! She actually found herself silently praying to whoever would listen, that Doyle would simply turn around and reveal that he was, in fact, some sort of human-looking demon. Sure, it was a crazy thought, but it would be much better than having a headless boyfriend!

She would even accept a little slime.

"She's wrong sometimes. About demon-y things." Xander croaked from the backseat, trying to break the loaded silence.

"No, I'm not. I was a demon for a thousand years, Xander, I think I picked up a thing or two." Anya replied defensively.

"Sweetie-Pie," He said through gritted teeth. "Right now, it might be a whole lot better if you were a little bit _wrong_."

"Oh. Right." She awkwardly leaned forward and patted Doyle on the shoulder. "Look at the bright side, messengers don't tend to live long anyway. At least an exploding head is relatively painless."

Doyle still didn't reply. Both of his hands were balled tightly into fists at his sides.

They were only a half-block away from the office now. Cordelia felt like she was on the verge of tears, which is why she didn't even attempt to speak. Doyle's silence probably meant that: A) he had just heard his own death sentence or B) he had known all along that he would die and had chosen not to tell her. Maybe this was why he had never asked her out. Because he hadn't wanted to put her through the pain of falling for him, only to lose him right away.

She pulled into the underground parking garage in a complete daze. As she shut off the ignition, she marveled at the fact that she had gotten them there alive. She had stopped being conscious of her driving skills. The only thought that swirled through her head over and over was _Doyle's going to die_.

Xander had hopped out of the car as soon as it was parked, yanking Anya along with him. He had mumbled something about telling Buffy and Angel that they were back and quickly disappeared into the elevator vestibule.

Cordelia didn't budge. She felt glued to her seat.

"Cordelia, I wanted to tell you this before-" Doyle began, but he stopped short. It was obvious by her demeanor that she was not taking the news well.

"Is Anya right?" She choked back a sob as she looked over at him. For once, she didn't even attempt to hide the tears that were shining in her eyes. She didn't cry in front of anyone. Never. But, if there was anything that could make her break, it was this. This was life and death.

He looked more ashamed than anything else as he answered quietly. "She's right."

She inhaled sharply, the tears finally breaking free and rolling down her cheeks. "This is why you never asked me out?"

He nodded in reply.

"You're really going to die?"

She had choked on the word "die." A look of complete shock played across Doyle's face, and then upon comprehending her heartbreaking question he looked even more ashamed.

"You thought…? No! Cordelia, I'm _not_ going to die." He only paused for a moment, bracing himself for her reaction to his next words. "Anya was right about the other part. I'm half-demon."

Relief poured over her at the words she had been praying to hear but never thought she actually would, "Oh, thank God!"

She threw her arms around him hugging him tightly. For a minute it didn't seem like she would ever let go. Then she sat back and promptly punched him in the arm. Hard!

To say he was a bit confused by her reaction was an understatement. "Ow! What was that for?"

"How dare you let me sit here and think your head was about to go kablooey? I was so scared for you! Why didn't you just tell me that you're a demon?" She cried angrily.

"I'm not exactly proud of that fact." He replied defensively, but there was some degree of relief in his voice. Even though she was angry, she was angry about something other than the fact that he was half-demon. "And I'm half-human, by the way. How was I supposed to know you were worrying that I was gonna die?"

"Um, duh! Because you sat right there and listened to Anya announce to all of us that you're head would explode! _Why wouldn't I be worried about that?"_

Instead of yelling back he looked down, shaking his head and chuckling to himself. This enraged her more, now he was laughing at the fact that he had managed to reduce her to tears. "Why is that funny?" She demanded.

"I'm not laughing at you, darlin'." He raised his eyes to hers and she saw how sincerely touched he was by her concern. "I'm laughing at my own stupidity."

"Well, by all means, carry on. You have a lot to laugh about in that department." She was a bit calmer now, but she still wasn't exactly pleased with him for putting her through the emotional wringer.

He nodded in agreement. "I was too busy worrying that you were about to reject me for being half-demon. I didn't stop to think that you might be concerned about me staying in one piece."

"Why didn't you tell me before now?" She had dropped the anger from her tone and settled on hurt instead.

"Same reason." His eyes were pleading for forgiveness. He looked like a little boy. "I am so, so sorry for not telling you sooner, Cordelia. I hated myself for keeping it from you. I've just never been able to accept that part of myself, so I make it a point not to advertise."

"Well…is there anything I need to know about your demon-half? Anything dangerous? Anything that would keep us from having a _normal_ relationship?"

"Uh. No. I mean, I can morph into demon form, but there's nothing dangerous about it. Other than that, I guess I'm a pretty normal guy."

She hated that he'd spent so much time lying to her, but she knew she couldn't stay angry. Especially considering the only reason he hadn't told her is because he wanted so desperately for her to accept him. She was too relieved that he was going to live. Too happy that he felt the same way about her that she felt about him. Too anxious to be on the receiving end of his electrifying kisses. She really didn't want to waste time being angry.

"So, we're done with the big secrets, right? Ex-wife? Check. Demon heritage? Check. If there's anything else, now's your chance to come clean."

"The half-demon thing is pretty much my big secret."

"OK, good. That's out of the way. Now we can move on to more important things. Like, our first real date, for example. I don't want you to think I'm easy just because we've already had our first kiss. You are still expected to take me out and impress me."

Doyle looked completely floored by how well she taking the news. "Yeah? You're really okay with dating a half-demon?"

"Well, there is one condition." She said giving him a serious look. "You will have to let me do something about your wardrobe."

He shook his head in amazement. "You really are one helluva woman, you know that?"

* * *

><p>When Cordelia and Doyle finally went upstairs a very perplexed-looking Angel confronted them. Xander and Anya had just filled him in on the day's events from their perspective. Buffy also stood by, not really knowing what to think. Angel studied the happy faces of his friends as they entered the office.<p>

"Did you two make out today?" He deadpanned with a slight raise of his brow. For Angel, this could be construed as genuine shock and awe.

"That wasn't actually supposed to be the main headline from today's events." Xander piped in from behind Angel. Then a light bulb went off. "Hey, wait a sec, you two aren't really a couple, are you? You were just faking! You big… fakers!"

"Didn't look fake to me." Anya remarked.

"It wasn't fake." Cordelia replied evenly. "We are really dating." She said the last part with a smile in Doyle's direction. She then linked hands with him just to emphasize her point.

Angel seemed to be appeased by this answer and he gave a small congratulating nod to Doyle. He knew how badly his friend had wanted a date with Cordelia, and it certainly appeared like he was going to get a whole lot more than that.

Xander looked slightly annoyed, but shook it off. "Not to bring up a sore subject, but what about that _other_ thing?" He gestured toward Angel to ask the question that inquiring minds really wanted to know.

"Oh, right." Angel went back to looking mildly confused. "Uh, Doyle? Is there any chance your head will… explode?"

"Not a chance, man." He replied with a grin.

"Good." Angel replied. "That's really good."

"Is that all?" Cordelia asked giving them all pointed looks.

Xander looked like he was deep in thought, but he stayed silent for the moment.

"Um, yeah. I think that's everything. We'll probably be leaving now." Buffy agreed.

"Well, okay then. Give my regards to the hell mouth." Cordelia replied cheerily, linking her arm through Doyle's. "Angel, we'll see you tomorrow morning. Right now, I really need to get over to Doyle's place and see if he owns anything that I'll actually allow him to wear in public."

Doyle shot a "help me" look in Angel's direction as Cordelia pulled him toward the exit. Angel answered him with a "you asked for it" shrug.

"Nice to meet you all," Doyle called back before he disappeared out the front door.

They could still hear Cordelia's voice as the couple proceeded through the lobby, "Do you have extra garbage bags at your place, or should we stop and pick up some on the way over?"

"Poor guy. He seemed nice," Buffy declared with a knowing smirk.

"At least his head won't be exploding," Anya reasoned.

"That would make him some kind of demon, right?" Xander asked.

"Half." Angel replied.

"Explains why he'd want to date Cordy."

**THE END**


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